Video Douchebag Awards

I don't even have the stamina to discuss the tragedy that was last night's VMAs. (Why was Pink orange? Why did that dude from Tokio Hotel look so much like Bjork circa the Vespertine tour? How did promise rings become such a hot topic? Why did they bleep the word venereal in "A Milli"? Why was Christina Aguilera/Demi Moore/Kobe Bryant/Kid Rock/Slipknot even there?)

The highlight of the night was far-and-away Kanye's closing number. And even that seemed like a financial-aid version of the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony. I'm too through.