Here's a tip: try pants.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Douchey Moore
I've got nothing against Mandy Moore, but let me be perfectly clear. . .
. . .if this is some Sasha Fierce shit, I am ready, willing, and able to do the Heisman on that ho.
. . .if this is some Sasha Fierce shit, I am ready, willing, and able to do the Heisman on that ho.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Take Some Time to Enjoy the Douche
This clip is awesome, and the nice weather outside has put me in a good mood. . .
. . .so, I'm just gonna let Jesse "The Body" Ventura's Gallagher 'do slide right by me. Nope, not gonna mention it at all.
. . .so, I'm just gonna let Jesse "The Body" Ventura's Gallagher 'do slide right by me. Nope, not gonna mention it at all.
Friday, April 17, 2009
A Douchestorm Is Approaching!
Suck on it, NOM. . .
Suck on it twice, Mormons.
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad | ||||
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Suck on it twice, Mormons.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Douche Your Motherdouching MySpace!
This may be my new favorite song...
...or the worst thing I've ever heard. I can't decide.
...or the worst thing I've ever heard. I can't decide.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Obvious Douchebag Alert: Jesusophile
Speaking of vaginas...
There are only two things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch. But it's good to know America doesn't have the monopoly on inarticulate, misogynistic fundies, yeah? Progress!
Here's to you, Jesusophile: I can't remember the last time I found any one thing SO offensive. I was going to pull out some choice quotes, but really the entire thing is a master class in Advanced Jackassness. If your jaw hasn't dropped by the 0:50 mark, the love of God is not in you.
There are only two things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch. But it's good to know America doesn't have the monopoly on inarticulate, misogynistic fundies, yeah? Progress!
Here's to you, Jesusophile: I can't remember the last time I found any one thing SO offensive. I was going to pull out some choice quotes, but really the entire thing is a master class in Advanced Jackassness. If your jaw hasn't dropped by the 0:50 mark, the love of God is not in you.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Douche in Advertising
Take your broke ass to the jewelry store, buy some pearls, and get ready to clutch them...
I saw this for the first time yesterday at a friend's house and it almost got by me. Aren't there censors for this sort of thing?! Though it is, admittedly, a step up from this gem...
Well, if Google AdSense didn't think this was a feminine hygiene blog before, it certainly will now.
I saw this for the first time yesterday at a friend's house and it almost got by me. Aren't there censors for this sort of thing?! Though it is, admittedly, a step up from this gem...
Well, if Google AdSense didn't think this was a feminine hygiene blog before, it certainly will now.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
They Don't Douche Us, We Douche Them
What else can I say? Glenn Beck is fucking crazy...
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| The 10/31 Project | ||||
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Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The Douce, the Douche, the Douce Is on Fire!
Is this why people in Jersey aren't allowed to pump their own gas? Tell the truth and shame the devil!
Friday, March 27, 2009
The Lonely Douchebag
If there were words to articulate just how much I hate this song, I'm sure they'd be too vulgar to print...
Day N Nite - KiD CuDi
I never thought I'd think, "Man, this could really use some auto-tune," but Kid Cudi proved me wrong. I'd rather he sound like a robot (read: everyone else in hip-hop right now) than a valium addict. Next!
Day N Nite - KiD CuDi
I never thought I'd think, "Man, this could really use some auto-tune," but Kid Cudi proved me wrong. I'd rather he sound like a robot (read: everyone else in hip-hop right now) than a valium addict. Next!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Obvious Douchebag Alert: Tammy Bruce
This anonymous bitch right here...
Funny she's SO confounded by the idea of "talking like a white person," but she can pick up on a "black" accent like that... Heifer, please!
Thanks (and I use the term loosely) to Raina for sending this our way. We consider Tammy Bruce's level of douchebaggery to be severe and highly contagious. Prolonged exposure could lead poorly feigned indignation and delusions of relevance. ("David After Dentist"? Really?)
Funny she's SO confounded by the idea of "talking like a white person," but she can pick up on a "black" accent like that... Heifer, please!
Thanks (and I use the term loosely) to Raina for sending this our way. We consider Tammy Bruce's level of douchebaggery to be severe and highly contagious. Prolonged exposure could lead poorly feigned indignation and delusions of relevance. ("David After Dentist"? Really?)
Monday, March 23, 2009
Fighting Douchebags with Douchebags
MTV has an important message for our nation's youth: violence only begets more violence is the solution to all your problems!
Am I the only one who remembers when cagefighting was something you had to order on pay-per-view/show ID to rent at Blockbuster? Well, grab the kids and pop some popcorn 'cause now it's primetime television (and an after-school activity if you live in Dallas)...
Bully Beatdown lets victims of bullying throw their tormentors into the ring against professional MMA fighters. Because giving sociopaths a taste of the pain they inflict on others is a GREAT idea, right?
*crickets*
Stay classy, America!
Am I the only one who remembers when cagefighting was something you had to order on pay-per-view/show ID to rent at Blockbuster? Well, grab the kids and pop some popcorn 'cause now it's primetime television (and an after-school activity if you live in Dallas)...
Bully Beatdown lets victims of bullying throw their tormentors into the ring against professional MMA fighters. Because giving sociopaths a taste of the pain they inflict on others is a GREAT idea, right?
*crickets*
Stay classy, America!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
808s and Douchebags
Riddle me this, Batman...
Was Kanye West on American Idol specifically to show the kids you don't need vocal skill to be a chart-topping singer? 'Cause Britney Spears covered that shit about 10 years ago.
Was Kanye West on American Idol specifically to show the kids you don't need vocal skill to be a chart-topping singer? 'Cause Britney Spears covered that shit about 10 years ago.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Smoking Douchies
I once called someone "triflin'" and they didn't know what I meant...
Raina, I should sue you for bringing this into my life. I'm pressin' charges!
It's all cute and funny now, but I promise you he'll be back on YouTube in 5 years teaching you how to smoke crack out of a coke can. What then, people, what then?
Raina, I should sue you for bringing this into my life. I'm pressin' charges!
It's all cute and funny now, but I promise you he'll be back on YouTube in 5 years teaching you how to smoke crack out of a coke can. What then, people, what then?
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Obvious Douchebag Alert: Code OMFG!!!
You already know...
In case you missed it, Chris Brown was charged with 2 felonies related to Rihanna's assault on Grammy night.
According to L.A. Police Detective DeShon Andrews statement:
And that was just the warm-up... I'm a bit squeamish, so if you want to read the rest, you'll need to click here.
Everybody and their mother's auntie's neighbor has been screaming their opinion on this mess the past few weeks. But seeing as Mr. Lovey Dovey Kiss Kiss hasn't ponied up any bruises and bite marks of his own, I think they need to put that little bastard in jail, end of.
But like they say, every dark cloud has a silver lining. And I think the one good thing to come out of all this mess is the fact that I no longer think Chris Brown and Ne-Yo are the same person.
In case you missed it, Chris Brown was charged with 2 felonies related to Rihanna's assault on Grammy night.
According to L.A. Police Detective DeShon Andrews statement:
A verbal argument ensued and Brown pulled the vehicle over on an unknown street, reached over Robyn F. with his right hand, opened the car door and attempted to force her out. Brown was unable to force Robyn F. out of the vehicle because she was wearing a seat belt. When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against he passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.
And that was just the warm-up... I'm a bit squeamish, so if you want to read the rest, you'll need to click here.
Everybody and their mother's auntie's neighbor has been screaming their opinion on this mess the past few weeks. But seeing as Mr. Lovey Dovey Kiss Kiss hasn't ponied up any bruises and bite marks of his own, I think they need to put that little bastard in jail, end of.
But like they say, every dark cloud has a silver lining. And I think the one good thing to come out of all this mess is the fact that I no longer think Chris Brown and Ne-Yo are the same person.
The Douche Dress
I swear on everything, I was watching America's Next Top Model last night (I'm pro-Aminat, btw), looked at myself on the couch under a blanket, and thought "It'd be kind of a cool avant-garde, entirely impratical, couture-y thing if someone made a dress like this." I'm paraphrasing.
Regardless, it looks like your grandma has been busy lately: guess what I just saw on Jezebel...
First off, I'd just like to say $349?? HELL, NAH! Secondly, so there's no confusion, my blanket isn't nearly that tacky. And, finally, who do I need to contact to receive my royalty checks?
Regardless, it looks like your grandma has been busy lately: guess what I just saw on Jezebel...
First off, I'd just like to say $349?? HELL, NAH! Secondly, so there's no confusion, my blanket isn't nearly that tacky. And, finally, who do I need to contact to receive my royalty checks?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Douchebags on Ice
Barack Obama does not care about Tanya Harding...
...and who the fuck does?
This video is a whole bunch of "wtf?" wrapped up in some "bitch, please!" with a side of "oh, word?" But it does give me an excuse to throw this up:
...and who the fuck does?
This video is a whole bunch of "wtf?" wrapped up in some "bitch, please!" with a side of "oh, word?" But it does give me an excuse to throw this up:
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