This clip is awesome, and the nice weather outside has put me in a good mood. . .
. . .so, I'm just gonna let Jesse "The Body" Ventura's Gallagher 'do slide right by me. Nope, not gonna mention it at all.
Showing posts with label The War On Douchebags. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The War On Douchebags. Show all posts
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
A Douchestorm Is Approaching!
Suck on it, NOM. . .
Suck on it twice, Mormons.
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad | ||||
| ||||
Suck on it twice, Mormons.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
They Don't Douche Us, We Douche Them
What else can I say? Glenn Beck is fucking crazy...
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| The 10/31 Project | ||||
| ||||
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Obvious Douchebag Alert: Tammy Bruce
This anonymous bitch right here...
Funny she's SO confounded by the idea of "talking like a white person," but she can pick up on a "black" accent like that... Heifer, please!
Thanks (and I use the term loosely) to Raina for sending this our way. We consider Tammy Bruce's level of douchebaggery to be severe and highly contagious. Prolonged exposure could lead poorly feigned indignation and delusions of relevance. ("David After Dentist"? Really?)
Funny she's SO confounded by the idea of "talking like a white person," but she can pick up on a "black" accent like that... Heifer, please!
Thanks (and I use the term loosely) to Raina for sending this our way. We consider Tammy Bruce's level of douchebaggery to be severe and highly contagious. Prolonged exposure could lead poorly feigned indignation and delusions of relevance. ("David After Dentist"? Really?)
Monday, March 23, 2009
Fighting Douchebags with Douchebags
MTV has an important message for our nation's youth: violence only begets more violence is the solution to all your problems!
Am I the only one who remembers when cagefighting was something you had to order on pay-per-view/show ID to rent at Blockbuster? Well, grab the kids and pop some popcorn 'cause now it's primetime television (and an after-school activity if you live in Dallas)...
Bully Beatdown lets victims of bullying throw their tormentors into the ring against professional MMA fighters. Because giving sociopaths a taste of the pain they inflict on others is a GREAT idea, right?
*crickets*
Stay classy, America!
Am I the only one who remembers when cagefighting was something you had to order on pay-per-view/show ID to rent at Blockbuster? Well, grab the kids and pop some popcorn 'cause now it's primetime television (and an after-school activity if you live in Dallas)...
Bully Beatdown lets victims of bullying throw their tormentors into the ring against professional MMA fighters. Because giving sociopaths a taste of the pain they inflict on others is a GREAT idea, right?
*crickets*
Stay classy, America!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Obvious Douchebag Alert: Code OMFG!!!
You already know...
In case you missed it, Chris Brown was charged with 2 felonies related to Rihanna's assault on Grammy night.
According to L.A. Police Detective DeShon Andrews statement:
And that was just the warm-up... I'm a bit squeamish, so if you want to read the rest, you'll need to click here.
Everybody and their mother's auntie's neighbor has been screaming their opinion on this mess the past few weeks. But seeing as Mr. Lovey Dovey Kiss Kiss hasn't ponied up any bruises and bite marks of his own, I think they need to put that little bastard in jail, end of.
But like they say, every dark cloud has a silver lining. And I think the one good thing to come out of all this mess is the fact that I no longer think Chris Brown and Ne-Yo are the same person.
In case you missed it, Chris Brown was charged with 2 felonies related to Rihanna's assault on Grammy night.
According to L.A. Police Detective DeShon Andrews statement:
A verbal argument ensued and Brown pulled the vehicle over on an unknown street, reached over Robyn F. with his right hand, opened the car door and attempted to force her out. Brown was unable to force Robyn F. out of the vehicle because she was wearing a seat belt. When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against he passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.
And that was just the warm-up... I'm a bit squeamish, so if you want to read the rest, you'll need to click here.
Everybody and their mother's auntie's neighbor has been screaming their opinion on this mess the past few weeks. But seeing as Mr. Lovey Dovey Kiss Kiss hasn't ponied up any bruises and bite marks of his own, I think they need to put that little bastard in jail, end of.
But like they say, every dark cloud has a silver lining. And I think the one good thing to come out of all this mess is the fact that I no longer think Chris Brown and Ne-Yo are the same person.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Caution: Falling Douchebags
Look out below! Remember folks, always keep your balance when you're graffito-tagging a bridge over a busy road.
And he didn't just fall off, he was hit by a truck! What won't a douchebag do for the sake of his art?
And he didn't just fall off, he was hit by a truck! What won't a douchebag do for the sake of his art?Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Douchebags Having Douchebags
Teen pregnancy must be a stressful and somewhat sad situation, I'm sure...
But if you like it, then you should've put a rubber on it. Next!
But if you like it, then you should've put a rubber on it. Next!
Friday, January 9, 2009
It's Like Rubbing Two Douchebags Together
My old high school is probably using this as an actual PSA, now...
(found on the Best Week Ever blog)
(found on the Best Week Ever blog)
Monday, January 5, 2009
God Douche the U.S.A.
I don't care who's singing it...
God Bless the U.S.A. (Proud to Be an American) - Beyoncé
I hate this fucking song.
God Bless the U.S.A. (Proud to Be an American) - Beyoncé
I hate this fucking song.
Monday, December 15, 2008
But Wait! There's More...
Okay, so this blog has taken a serious turn. I promise I'll get back to the bullshit sooner than later (if you truly need to be appalled in the interim, check out that Keyshia Cole/2pac collabo...), but this struck a nerve.
I remember being in college and one of my roommates making a comment about Carson from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" -- yes, I was in college when that show was on; I'm old, let's get past it -- something to the extent of "Does he have to be SO over-the-top about being gay?"
And in the moment I was really taken aback 'cause how do you answer that? Some guys are just really feminine. And some of them are even straight. But you know that's not going to satisfy the question.
So I tried to explain that this is what you have to do in the beginning; you have to put the stereotypes out for public consumption before they can handle the nuances of reality.
And, being black, I pulled from my history: there was a bit of a gap between Hattie McDaniel in Gone with the Wind and Sidney Poitier in In the Heat of the Night, wasn't there?
So it was interesting to me hearing Jon Stewart's response to the concept of a "Stater Negro." It is something that caused dissent in the black community. Look at what came next, the Blaxploitation films of the 70s. Look at how we responded to what we saw as a slight, that we were only acceptable so long as we were dressed up and eloquent, as long as we were, essentially, "white."
Why is it then that we would put the gay community through the same ringer?
I know the California stats. I know that even though a high percentage of blacks voted Yes, blacks don't make up a high percentage of the black population.
But I also know what it is to grow up in the black community. And we can hide behind numbers all we want, but the fact is homophobia is bred in us at such a young age we don't even process it.
When Larry said black men on the "down low" aren't trying to hide from their wives, they're trying to hide from other black men, I wanted to cry. There are so many layers of sadness in that statement, and all of them are true.
But it's the American way, isn't it? The only way you can rise up in this country is to step on someone else.
Ain't that about a bitch?
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Mike Huckadouche
It's no secret that I think Mike Huckabee is full-tilt dumbass...
...but wow. There's a difference between burning someone at the stake and marrying someone of the same sex: namely that one is murder and the other is not.
Props to Jon Stewart for dismantling Huckabee's argument in such a calm manner 'cause Lord knows that kind of ignorance tends to foam my mouth.
If I can get personal for a second (which obviously I can 'cause who's going to stop me?), I grew up surrounded by people who thought like Huckabee, and many of them still do. And it scares me because, as Huckabee himself points out, these people are training the next generation. I can't tell you how many times I heard the "being black is genetic, being gay is a choice" argument. But I can tell you that I started hearing it before I was even 12. By the time I was in high school, the idea of a contrary idea was more than offensive, it was inconceivable. If I hadn't fallen in love with a guy when I was a teenager -- and subsequently been scared out of my wits -- I probably never would've even questioned my own thinking. And frankly, most people don't (because they don't see a reason to).
It's like that line in "The Healer"--- You don't have to believe everything you think. All of us have, to some degree, been programmed. For good or ill. But I think an essential requirement of humanity is obtaining wisdom, questioning the information that comes your way. Or, in a word, analysis. Otherwise, we're just monkeys that talk.
And if you call me a monkey, we beefin'.
...but wow. There's a difference between burning someone at the stake and marrying someone of the same sex: namely that one is murder and the other is not.
Props to Jon Stewart for dismantling Huckabee's argument in such a calm manner 'cause Lord knows that kind of ignorance tends to foam my mouth.
If I can get personal for a second (which obviously I can 'cause who's going to stop me?), I grew up surrounded by people who thought like Huckabee, and many of them still do. And it scares me because, as Huckabee himself points out, these people are training the next generation. I can't tell you how many times I heard the "being black is genetic, being gay is a choice" argument. But I can tell you that I started hearing it before I was even 12. By the time I was in high school, the idea of a contrary idea was more than offensive, it was inconceivable. If I hadn't fallen in love with a guy when I was a teenager -- and subsequently been scared out of my wits -- I probably never would've even questioned my own thinking. And frankly, most people don't (because they don't see a reason to).
It's like that line in "The Healer"--- You don't have to believe everything you think. All of us have, to some degree, been programmed. For good or ill. But I think an essential requirement of humanity is obtaining wisdom, questioning the information that comes your way. Or, in a word, analysis. Otherwise, we're just monkeys that talk.
And if you call me a monkey, we beefin'.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Joe Douchepack!
Drinking games, double-talk, QUEEN LATIFAH... I can find no fault.
Funny, her views on marriage sound an awful like my old Southern Baptist high school...
Of all the Palin parodies they've done thus far (and even as Sarah herself becomes more and more of a self-parody) this one is definitely the best, IMO.
And equal props for calling out Obama/Biden's complete hypocrisy on same-sex rights.
I honestly don't even want to vote this year.
Funny, her views on marriage sound an awful like my old Southern Baptist high school...
Of all the Palin parodies they've done thus far (and even as Sarah herself becomes more and more of a self-parody) this one is definitely the best, IMO.
And equal props for calling out Obama/Biden's complete hypocrisy on same-sex rights.
I honestly don't even want to vote this year.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Douchebag News
MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski was apparently given an award for being one of the most powerful women in New York. The following is how her co-workers responded:
Aww, silly girl, she thinks she's people.
Aww, silly girl, she thinks she's people.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Douchebag Double-Talk
Kells has obviously been honing his rhetorical skills with the McCain/Palin campaign...
The look on Toure's face when R. Kelly asks, "When you say teenaged, how old are we talking?" = priceless
Like he wanted to respond with, "Oh sure, no problem, one big bowl of Nigga Please coming right up!"
The look on Toure's face when R. Kelly asks, "When you say teenaged, how old are we talking?" = priceless
Like he wanted to respond with, "Oh sure, no problem, one big bowl of Nigga Please coming right up!"
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Flashing Lights, Indeed
Looks like Kanye got arrested for cranking that Bjork on the paps at LAX.
If you're curious and don't mind briefly dealing with the antiChrist, you can see the video over at TMZ.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Donny Deutschbag
If ever in my life I wanted to punch someone in the face...
Look, it's safe to say I don't like Sarah Palin. It's actually safe to say she makes me kinda violent. Whatever, she doesn't live in my apartment complex, so we're cool.
But for Donny Deutsch to say Palin "is the new feminist ideal" because she "put on a skirt" and because "women want to be her, men want to mate with her" (mate with?? --- rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham) is the single most insulting thing I've heard in I don't know how long. And I've seen every episode of I Love New York ever made.
Look, it's safe to say I don't like Sarah Palin. It's actually safe to say she makes me kinda violent. Whatever, she doesn't live in my apartment complex, so we're cool.
But for Donny Deutsch to say Palin "is the new feminist ideal" because she "put on a skirt" and because "women want to be her, men want to mate with her" (mate with?? --- rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham) is the single most insulting thing I've heard in I don't know how long. And I've seen every episode of I Love New York ever made.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Eat Me
What in the hell?
Full disclosure: I've never read any Palahniuk. Hell, I've never even seen Fight Club. But my Douchey-Sense is tingling away with that promo image. Maybe because it reminds me so much of this.
I'm gonna set the Obvious Douchebag Terror Watch for Choke to a "Code Orange": there will probably be at least 5 guys in Affliction t-shirts in the theater with you if you go see this movie. Excercise moderate caution.
Full disclosure: I've never read any Palahniuk. Hell, I've never even seen Fight Club. But my Douchey-Sense is tingling away with that promo image. Maybe because it reminds me so much of this.
I'm gonna set the Obvious Douchebag Terror Watch for Choke to a "Code Orange": there will probably be at least 5 guys in Affliction t-shirts in the theater with you if you go see this movie. Excercise moderate caution.
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