Wednesday, December 31, 2008

And a Happy Douche Year

Now this is change we can believe in...

According to Jezebel (and confirmed by my middling French comprehension skills) the text translates to "No women's bodies were exploited in this ad." And what better sentiment to close out 2008?

Hope everyone enjoys their NYE festivities! See you in '09.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Diva Is the Female Version of a Douchebag

I can't let this go by without comment...

Diva (Beyoncé Cover) - Ciara

I had such high hopes for Ciara after "Promise" but those high notes... darling, just sit down.

And I see we're just pretending "Go, Girl" didn't happen. I understand.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Seasons Douchings!

I'm about an hour from leaving for the airport. Christmas will be spent with the family and the GA friends. But as my parents are Betty and Barney Rubble, I will be without internets until Sunday. So in my absence, I've harnessed the power of YouTube to pass on some of my favorite Winter-time tunes.

Enjoy your holiday, and try not to be that drunk douchebag under the mistletoe at the party. You know who you are...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Lord, Send a Revival!

If you combined the sights of the church I grew up in with the sounds that were going on in my head during most services, the result would be a little something like this...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Douche Two Ferns

I, personally, was devastated at the 1:21 mark...

Paul Blart: Douche Cop

This is the featured clip on YouTube today:

Just when you start to think "The only way this could possibly be worse is if 'Living on a Prayer' kicked in right about now"...

Monday, December 15, 2008

But Wait! There's More...

Okay, so this blog has taken a serious turn. I promise I'll get back to the bullshit sooner than later (if you truly need to be appalled in the interim, check out that Keyshia Cole/2pac collabo...), but this struck a nerve.

I remember being in college and one of my roommates making a comment about Carson from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" -- yes, I was in college when that show was on; I'm old, let's get past it -- something to the extent of "Does he have to be SO over-the-top about being gay?"

And in the moment I was really taken aback 'cause how do you answer that? Some guys are just really feminine. And some of them are even straight. But you know that's not going to satisfy the question.

So I tried to explain that this is what you have to do in the beginning; you have to put the stereotypes out for public consumption before they can handle the nuances of reality.

And, being black, I pulled from my history: there was a bit of a gap between Hattie McDaniel in Gone with the Wind and Sidney Poitier in In the Heat of the Night, wasn't there?

So it was interesting to me hearing Jon Stewart's response to the concept of a "Stater Negro." It is something that caused dissent in the black community. Look at what came next, the Blaxploitation films of the 70s. Look at how we responded to what we saw as a slight, that we were only acceptable so long as we were dressed up and eloquent, as long as we were, essentially, "white."

Why is it then that we would put the gay community through the same ringer?

I know the California stats. I know that even though a high percentage of blacks voted Yes, blacks don't make up a high percentage of the black population.

But I also know what it is to grow up in the black community. And we can hide behind numbers all we want, but the fact is homophobia is bred in us at such a young age we don't even process it.

When Larry said black men on the "down low" aren't trying to hide from their wives, they're trying to hide from other black men, I wanted to cry. There are so many layers of sadness in that statement, and all of them are true.

But it's the American way, isn't it? The only way you can rise up in this country is to step on someone else.

Ain't that about a bitch?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Mike Huckadouche

It's no secret that I think Mike Huckabee is full-tilt dumbass...

...but wow. There's a difference between burning someone at the stake and marrying someone of the same sex: namely that one is murder and the other is not.

Props to Jon Stewart for dismantling Huckabee's argument in such a calm manner 'cause Lord knows that kind of ignorance tends to foam my mouth.

If I can get personal for a second (which obviously I can 'cause who's going to stop me?), I grew up surrounded by people who thought like Huckabee, and many of them still do. And it scares me because, as Huckabee himself points out, these people are training the next generation. I can't tell you how many times I heard the "being black is genetic, being gay is a choice" argument. But I can tell you that I started hearing it before I was even 12. By the time I was in high school, the idea of a contrary idea was more than offensive, it was inconceivable. If I hadn't fallen in love with a guy when I was a teenager -- and subsequently been scared out of my wits -- I probably never would've even questioned my own thinking. And frankly, most people don't (because they don't see a reason to).

It's like that line in "The Healer"--- You don't have to believe everything you think. All of us have, to some degree, been programmed. For good or ill. But I think an essential requirement of humanity is obtaining wisdom, questioning the information that comes your way. Or, in a word, analysis. Otherwise, we're just monkeys that talk.

And if you call me a monkey, we beefin'.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Douche Me Baby One More Time

I'll say this, his mother was much more supportive than I could've been. If my child ever got that much water on my bathroom floor, I would back-slap the rotten brat till my hand got tired...

And the choreography was whack anyway. Step your game up, little dude.

Monday, December 8, 2008

I've Seen This Before...

Is it me, or does this...

Right Here (Departed) - Brandy

...take place in the same weird futurecitynetherworld as this?

(And, now that I think about it, this?)

En Vogue - too gone too long

It's the music video equivalent of the Taco Bell font, I guess.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


Forgive me if this is saying too much...

O... Saya - M.I.A.

...but this song gets me wet. Carry on.

(recommendation: listen to it with headphones)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

We Need to Talk...

Tina, now you know I've always loved you, and I always will.

But... are doing absolutely too damn much.