Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Dynamic Douchebag Duo

I was driving up to get my oil changed yesterday when the announcer on the radio said, "Soulja Boy featuring Bow Wow: 'Marco Polo.'"

To which I replied (because I talk to myself in the car), "No part of that sounds appealing..."

Marco Polo - Bow Wow feat. Soulja Boy

...and no part of it is.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Douchebag News

MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski was apparently given an award for being one of the most powerful women in New York. The following is how her co-workers responded:

Aww, silly girl, she thinks she's people.

Notorious Douchebag

My only question, why is the chick that I'm presuming to be Lil' Kim so tall?


Okay, I had to get to the bottom of this mess. IMDB to the resuce.

First off, Naturi Naughton (the one in the right) is Lil' Kim. You might remember her from 3LW... **silence**

This is the woman playing Faith: Antonique Smith, apparently; Her only other film credit is "Hooker" in Across the Universe. Stop laughing, you know God don't like ugly.

Judging by the headshot, it's not a bad match visually speaking. But did she lose weight for the role or something, 'cause... why?

I thought maybe Charli Baltimore was gonna be in the picture, but upon watching the trailer again, I think it's just the broad playing Faith with different makeup on. Which, if you remember the Get Money video... So maybe they got the casting right after all.

And, honestly, the less I say about Angela Bassett as Voletta Wallace the better.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Whenever I Blog Real Good...


Can I just go ahead and pre-order the album? This song is so absurd I can hardly believe it even exists. "Mix it all together, it's a delicacy" ...I almost fell out of my damn chair.

Of course, if it doesn't end up making the final tracklist, all bets are off.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

"Dull Flame of Desire" --Bjork and Antony Hegarty

You didn't think I missed this, did you?

Bjork and Antony performed in front of a green screen and then sent the raw footage to 3 amateur filmmakers. Each director's take on the footage was edited into one final piece.

In other news, it is INSANE that Bjork still looks that good in her 40s. What do they have in the water in Iceland?

Douchebag Double-Talk

Kells has obviously been honing his rhetorical skills with the McCain/Palin campaign...

The look on Toure's face when R. Kelly asks, "When you say teenaged, how old are we talking?" = priceless

Like he wanted to respond with, "Oh sure, no problem, one big bowl of Nigga Please coming right up!"

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008

Tic Toc (Rye Rye ft. M.I.A.)

This track dropped yesterday and has completely monopolized the last two hours of my life. Sorry I don't have a stream to put up here, but definitely go to the Mad Decent blog and check it out from the source.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Flashing Lights, Indeed

Looks like Kanye got arrested for cranking that Bjork on the paps at LAX.

If you're curious and don't mind briefly dealing with the antiChrist, you can see the video over at TMZ.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Fashion Rocks; Cancer Sucks

Fashion Rocks was televised on CBS last night. If you don't know, it's basically a big concert/fashion show mashup that takes place every year and pays tribute to legendary musicians and designers.

I caught most of the show, and I will say it was pretty entertaining. It certainly kicked the crap out of the VMAs, but I've seen finger puppetry that kicked the crap out of this year's VMAs so...

The big surprise for me, though, was seeing all 3,000 women who took part in the Stand Up to Cancer charity single come onstage to perform the song "live." (Those quotation marks are for Mariah who, God love her, seemed to have no idea where she was the whole night... I blame Nick Cannon.)

Now, your guess is as good as mine why Beyoncé put that wig back on after the Etta James tribute was long over. But what I know for certain is once Miley Cyrus and Rihanna started trading bars, my soul went on home to glory.

Just keep telling yourself, "It's for a good cause. It's for a good cause."

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Law and Order: Special Douchebag Unit

You don't want none.

This morning, my friend and co-worker Jen sent me what is probably the greatest news article ever written.

All these herbs and spices before 9:30AM? It's just too much.

And nothing could be more humiliating than some random guy slapping you in the face with an 8-inch sausage and then running away. (Ladies, am I right?)

Monday, September 8, 2008

Video Douchebag Awards

I don't even have the stamina to discuss the tragedy that was last night's VMAs. (Why was Pink orange? Why did that dude from Tokio Hotel look so much like Bjork circa the Vespertine tour? How did promise rings become such a hot topic? Why did they bleep the word venereal in "A Milli"? Why was Christina Aguilera/Demi Moore/Kobe Bryant/Kid Rock/Slipknot even there?)

The highlight of the night was far-and-away Kanye's closing number. And even that seemed like a financial-aid version of the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony. I'm too through.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Donny Deutschbag

If ever in my life I wanted to punch someone in the face...

Look, it's safe to say I don't like Sarah Palin. It's actually safe to say she makes me kinda violent. Whatever, she doesn't live in my apartment complex, so we're cool.

But for Donny Deutsch to say Palin "is the new feminist ideal" because she "put on a skirt" and because "women want to be her, men want to mate with her" (mate with?? --- rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham) is the single most insulting thing I've heard in I don't know how long. And I've seen every episode of I Love New York ever made.

Janice Dickinson's Douchebag Agency

I have a not-so-secret but difficult-to-defend love for Janice Dickinson...


When I saw this picture of her on Jezebel, I thought, "Wow, that's probably the best she's looked in awhOH MY GOD, THOSE VEINS ON HER LEG!!"

But still, her face looks not-so-botoxy at that angle, right?

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

One for the Ladies

Usher is preparing a tour for ladies only.

The R&B singer revealed in a recent interview with The Associated Press that he will soon announce details of his "One Night Stand" tour. He said specific dates are still being worked out for about 15 "intimate" venues.

To go with the theme, Usher is also planning his own line of lingerie and men's undergarments.

...I can't go there with Usher right now; it's 9am.