Monday, January 12, 2009

Sometimes, It's a Little TOO Obvious...

I kicked around the idea of doing weekly recaps of Vh1's latest tragedy, Tool Academy. But I decided against it for 3 reasons...

1st (and foremost), someone at the Vh1 Blog already took care of it. That's even where I got the above screencap...

Which brings me to my 2nd reason: I have neither the screen-capture capabilities nor the photoshop/.gif-making skills to make it worth your time.

And 3rd--- I couldn't even get all the way through the first episode.

You see, kids, while my heart leapt at the idea of such obvious douchebags being brought low before the whole nation, the advertisements left out one key point: their girlfriends.

The whole premise is that each of these jackasses (miraculously) has a woman in his life, and she's signed him up for this reform school in hopes of making him a better person. What I didn't know going in is that the girls go through the process with them, attending couples therapy sessions and competing in the challenges.

Which is all well and good, until you see just how badly these guys treat their girlfriends. It's one thing to be an embarrassment at parties; it's altogether another to be abusive.

Some of the guys laugh about cheating on their girlfriends. Others brag about how they "run" or have "trained" their lovers. One guy is actually unemployed and living off his girlfriend's child support checks... *Danny Thomas spit take*

All this begs the question: why Tool Academy, ladies? Why not, you know, A BREAKUP? No manners. No romance. No money. And I simply cannot believe any of these guys are beating it like a cop (no Lil' Wayne). Sounds like an exit cue to me.

The guys may be tools, but the girls are morons. And tool + moron = a painful viewing experience. I only got about 10 minutes in before I went and started playing my piano.

So, as much as I thought this show might be my destiny, I'm going to have to part ways with it early. Too bad I can't give these sad little girls the same advice.

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