Watching this year's MTV Movie Awards, these are the things I'm learning:
*Only 2 awards in, and I'm already sick of presenters repping their new flicks
*You, apparently, can't smoke weed on live television.
*I used to have no opinion of Coldplay, then I grew to like them when "Trouble" came out, I started to dislike them around "The Scientist," and now I'm pretty sure I can't stand them. Also, Chris Martin has no stage presence.
*The major food groups are "sugar, nutter, and butter." Love it.
*Jennifer Hudson is a real bombshell when she doesn't let Andre Leon Talley dress her. And Sarah Jessica Parker is incredibly short.
*Will Smith's kids don't ever seem to age.
*Wayne's World was a long. ass. time. ago.
*Strangely, Get Smart may have the hottest cast of this year's summer movies.
*Rhianna and Chris Brown are not entertained. (Seriously, why the long faces, guys?)
*These damn skits are altogether too long.
*Tom Cruise presented Adam Sandler with a lifetime achievement award. Fuck you too, MTV. (Soon after, I learned that I will not watch Adam Sandler's musical tribute to himself, and that El Sexto Día is on Telemundo.)
*Tila Tequila looks like a long-haired Monchichi. Think about it.
*For real, though, did Rihanna just find out she's pregnant or something? She hasn't cracked so much as a grin this whole time, unless it was while I was in the kitchen filling up a bowl with Sweet & Spicy Doritos. Regardless, if she is preggers, remember you heard it here first!!
*What the hell song are the Pussycat Dolls performing? Didn't that one bitch go solo? Are they still even a group? (edit: I guess she didn't go solo, probably 'cause her last name is so hard to say.)
*I really wish Angelina Joile would star in a halfway-watchable movie again.
*JABBAWOCKEEZ!!!
*There is someone in this world who can say "Step Up 2 the Streets" with a straight face. Kudos, Meagan Fox.
*Robert Downey Jr. is "probably high as fuck right now." (credit: my friend Raina over AIM)
*Wow, the show is actually ending with Rihanna's "Please Don't Stop the Music." I bet the bitch is still sitting there with yuckface.
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